Thank the Merciful Gods

Ok, we can all rest easy today secure in the knowledge that the judges of Project Runway haven't completely lost their minds. In the microcosm of aesthetic that is my humble (of not blunt, assuming the two aren't mutually exclusive) opinion, the season finale yielded the best possible outcome given the roster of finalists.  I'm still secretly hoping to wake from a dream somewhere around episode 10 and get Anthony Ryan Auld back in the mix, but given gravity's utterly devastating effect on my recent attempts to fly, I have to assume I'm wide awake. *Sigh*

However,  kudos to the judges for choosing Anya, who has the chance of becoming a real force in the fashion industry, or at the very least a terribly expensive and sought after brand.  I can overlook a somewhat limited scope of creation in light of the fact that everything she's made over the course of the season clearly speaks to an incredibly elegant and unique look that women will actually want to wear.

It strikes me at this point that both Anya and wretchin' Gretchen (last years winner as a result of Michael Kors little publicized brain aneurysm, or some other equally plausible explanation) have a penchant for a loose fitting garment.  The stark contrast lies in Anya's ability to choose exceptional prints, the rights kinds of fabrics, and create a finished garment that looks effortless, light, and breezy; one which also moves with exceptional grace.  To achieve that same breezy effect in one of Gretchen's garments, one would need a wind tunnel and a model with enough extra cellulite to keep her feet on the ground.  They flowed with all the grace of corrugated cardboard, and the color palette was just about as interesting.

All vitriol aside, I was really, really worried that Josh was going to win.  Not because he finally brought something fashion forward to the table, as evidenced by a barrage of day-glow club shorts and plastic collars, but because the judges just couldn't stop gushing about the quality of said ill-fitting, Long Island night club unbuttoned down to the navel traffic cone inspired outfits.  To say they were derivative of 90's gay club culture is an understatement, I found myself wondering what, if any, enhancement was to be had from accessorizing the clothes with glowsticks.

I will pause here, to appeal shamelessly to the ego of someone I know quite well, and say that the editing process for this episode was spot-on.  I was truly gut-wrenchingly nervous that he was going to win.  Solace came only from the thought that since all negative criticism of JM's collection seemed to have landed on the cutting room floor, that his eventual victory would have been far too obvious for reality TV.  But you really had me worried for a moment there, you know who you are.

 Kimberly, I'm sorry to say, never really stood a chance.  Though once again, in sharp contrast to the opinions that ultimately mattered, I was petrified by a turquoise-lamé mini-dress with hoodie style pockets, which they met with unabashed adoration. (PS, you should all be impressed that I figured out how to accent that "é" on a standard keyboard.) 

I was also somewhat taken aback by her response when the question of why she should be chosen as the winner was posed.  However, that could be the subject of a doctoral thesis in anthropology, so for now, I'm not saying a word.

In the end, I really thought it would come down to Victor (whom I realize now I called "Oscar" last week, as he uncannily brings to mind an old friend by that name) and Anya, and was taken aback by his critique.  I personally thought the transparent blouses with a "censored" style black bars keeping his models modest were a definite miss, and frankly don't see why he couldn't just send some visible nipple down the runway.  Overall they would have taken the garments to a more fashion forward level, and let's be honest, who ultimately wears this stuff?  It's not likely to pose a workplace wardrobe issue for my local bank teller, for example.   His floor length black gown, which was panned by the panel, I frankly thought was stunning, Rambo-esque ammo straps and all.  I was all kinds of swarming his custom prints as well. Bravo, sister!

When it came down to the wire, Anya can develop her technical skills, but her conceptual brilliance can't be taught, and Victor is a brilliant technician with interesting but somewhat predictable ideas.  I'm pleased that I don't need to boycott the upcoming "All-Stars" franchise in protest of this season's outcome, and of course looking forward to sharing my venomous and seditious opinions as it progresses!